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oh and another thing…. i pretty much feel worthless. and unloved (which i guess isnt true ….but i still feel like that … i shouldn’t feel like that …..but i do and it sucks so fucking much)
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lol so the only reason I’m writing this is because i know no one goes on my tumblr (being that this is the first time i have gone on in the past like1234567 months)…
so the truth is im not really “okay” right now. i feel like shit. and i feel like this all the time…but people tell me that im so perfect and wonderful and cute all the time so i feel even worse for feeling this way. in fact i feel stupid for feeling this way because it seems like to everyone in the world i don’t have a reason to be like this, or think like this ….but shhh here’s the secret.i do. i don’t tell people that because i don’t want them to think im being stupid ….. but i feel fat. i feel ugly. and when the one person i wished told me the opposite doesn’t say anything at all, it hurts. and i think i’ve cried at least 50 times in the past hour because of it.
not to mention, i have the ACT this Saturday .. another thing i have a problem with… my whole fucking life i have felt stupid or just not at the level as everyone else. i read slow as fuck and i cant fucking spell even if my life depended on it.. tghbnfgiukjhnjkj,mjmlk,kjmnkju,hmbjhmgvujyhnmgujymhnvuhtmgnfvunhfvhjfgvy im just stupid. lets leave it at that.
im just a mess right now..and i don’t even wanna type anymore because this isn’t helping at all….. so yeah…
